Real Resume's & CV's
I come across a lot of resume's and CV's during my work expereince. Some are absolutely funny and classic! I'm not making fun at them, I just thought they were too cute. I really hope they all have good jobs by now. Here are just some highlights from differnt CV's based on each CV item:
Peronal Identification:
*Date of Born
*Nationality: Lebanes
*Statue: Maried
Education:
*Studeing time in the university
*High Certificate in Critique
*Diploma: Science Lap technologic
*Refreshment curse in accounting
*Master of scince
*Stadies: Lebanes Univserity foe English Letreture
*Theerd level in English
*School Leaving Certificate
*Golf Insurance Co. Training
*New Horison Courese-General English
*I have balance sheet (thanaweya ama kuwaitiya)
Work Experience:
*Sales man in Kirby Pank
*Mandop in resturant
*Order taker in Little Ceaser Pizza Pizza
*Vice maneger of generral marketes
*Chose receptionist and training them (woring as a team)
*Look after them and solve their problems
*Look after the files
*I hade 7 years experoence in this feild
*The compaination of my qualification is good for job
*Data Eatrey (English-Arabic)
*Worked in commircial market company as markiting and sales secretry
Skills & Hobbies:
*Operation of Mechanical tool
*Arabic: the mother toungue
*English Speak And Write very good
*Reding for both enjoyments for information
Closing Remarks:
*I need this jop so I hope to be the one will be chosing bu company
*Hopping for farther co-operations
*Ready to start the work
*I hope I can work with you cause it will be my dream came true
*My Circulem Veta is good to be accep tin
*I have an available residence
*Meritorious awaiting for your patronage for a reply
*I await for your replay to my amail
I surely will give them a job for effort :)
posted by Jazz Central @ 5:31 PM
20 comments
20 Comments:
hehe, I hope he is not applying as an English Teacher.
I got a few CVs from India where they signed,
Your obedient servant,
XXXXX XXXXX
heartbreaking, isnt it.
Yes you are making fun of them!! ;P
7itta I can't forget the of the "Cinma? Promoshin? Viduo?" thing ;P
English literature my a$$!
good ones!
"I hope I can work with you cause it will be my dream came true"
maskeen :(
Very funny but are you sure you spelled everything correctly or have there been a few mistaked that occured cause of typos on your behalf! :oP
Don Veto: Good one :) Yeah I came across those too :)
Nunu: hehehehe...ok that was business card that the guy printed...I had to make fun of that because there was money involved in printing. Also you had to see his show-off attitude about him being a big-time TV producer.
Miyafushi: I know...right?
Rampurple: Very orginal :) They're funny cause they are unintentional :)
idip: ee walla maskeen :) but it was a good CV. I remember good experiences, but just a language barrier
Stallion: No...there are no typos...I made sure it was typed correctly, cause the real typos make a difference in the post.
Stallion asked the question I had in mind.
Wow! did I say Wow I really mean WOW! Good luck to you.
This is totally off topic, but Eryka Badu 'Back in the Day'??? Where was I when that came out? Jeez I gotta give the khaleeji music a break.
Oh yeah and CV's. Yeah funny ;p
Says a lot about the standards (or lack thereof) at some of these universities, doesn't it?! *shudder*
funny post you made my day
OMG get out...seriously! Hey, that makes me overqualified then! :P Or rather, ovar kwalified
Hey!! There's a forth annual "philips Dubai" international jazz festival.. On Wednesday. Feb, 8th.
Are you going?! If you are please take me with ya! ;P
Hahahahahahaaa!
You cracked me up!
I was actually going to post something similar...bs gilt la 7aram....lol I've changed my mind, I'll post it soon.
*I hope I can work with you cause it will be my dream came true
7araam chan sha'3Loh ay shay bas khal y7aqeq 7elma we7s ena ga3d ysawe shay eb 7yata , 7bbeta tara :$
LOL !!! hilarious man.. looks like an email forward ;p
im back 2 blogging jazz, better c ur comment on my post ! :)
kisar khatrii *sigh*
"Your obedient servant" and "it will be my dream came true"
ga6a3 galbi :(
This is so outrageous, I would think you were making this up if it wasn't for the fact that I actually spent many hours with you reading some of these CVs in our offices laughing hysterically back when we worked together! Is it unethical for you to be dipping into the "Ha Ha" file?? If not, go into my old department's CV file on the shared drive and enjoy!! Boy does this make me remember how much I hated having to hire people in my department!
Not to be a total buzzkill, but I work with a lot of people for whom English may or not be their first language.
One in particular is a very smart and very well-known kitesurfer from the UK. When I first started corresponding with him, I was shocked and disappointed by his emails: what IS this kid, a total MORON? His emails to me were pathetic, laughable, and when I first saw him trying to contact me via skype, I wanted to hide.
But when I mustered up enough courage to actually pick up my headphones, his spoken English was PERFECT ... Shakespearean, even ... and his sense of humour? We totally connected. But his parents, it turned out, moved to Tarifa when he was about 4, so even though English was his first language, Spanish was the language he had learned in school, and it was the only language he was able to write, in a grammatically respectable sort of way.
I've since had the absolute pleasure of meeting him in person, and I'm blown away by his grace, charm, and intelligence, and I now look forward to his emails, just to see what excellent sort of "fuck up the English Language" fodder he's going to give me.
Kind of puts a whole new spin of this blog, for me.
Post a Comment
<< Home